sunshine & serendipity

GROWTH IS A PROCESS     (read that again.) at this point, this quote has taken permanent residency in my brain. and anyone who truly knows me, i hate waiting for change, waiting for growth. it is HARD tolerating the discomfort that accompanies the waiting process.      but then i have to remember: GOOD THINGS TAKE TIME. a flower does not grow from a seed to being fully bloomed overnight. they need time. they have to grow through the dirt. we must grow through the dirt: the bad and the ugly and the uncomfortable. there is good on the other side of the growth. 

hey!! long time no post :( life has been a little crazy. ok, very crazy. but i am back with a fun way to stay connected in this time of social distancing.  PEN PAL LETTERS!!! how fun. i love writing letters to friends, acquaintances, & even people i have never met before. over the past couple of years my letter writing process, for lack of a better term, has changed significantly. at this point, i know exactly how i want to do them & thought i would share!! let's start off with supplies. i have a few suggestions, but they fit my vintage/nature/cute aesthetic.  1.  hobby lobby   - i get A LOT here! paper, envelopes, sacks, cording, & more! i especially love that they carry the tim holtz line. it is an excellent option for easy ephemera. 2.  romwe  or  shein  - an unexpected place! most people know them for their trendy clothes & inexpensive options, but they also have a wide variety of fun stationery. i have purchased...

I am going to do something out of the ordinary for me. I am going to celebrate my accomplishments. In a way, blogging about them is a way of celebrating, it acknowledges them. It puts them out in the open. Truthfully, I do not know why I avoid opening up about what I have overcome. In many ways, it feels odd to do so. Anyways, here it goes. The first accomplishment that comes to mind is my recovery. For a while, I did not think I would make it to eighteen. Growing up was not something I thought I would experience. Now, at eighteen, I have started my senior year of high school and I am starting college applications.  How crazy is that?  Looking at the facts, I should be proud  of  freeing myself from an eating disorder.   According to the National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA) "y oung people between the ages of 15 and 24 with anorexia have 10 times the risk of dying compared to their same-aged peers." Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of an...

Dear body,  My sincerest apologies.     You were my home  and my goal was to ruin you. I was neither kind  nor gentle. I am sorry for the words I called you. I regret spending minute after minute pinching you.  I didn't know I would leave scars after I tore you to shreds. I now know it isn't possible for you to be perfect. My body, a gift from God, you are.  Who am I to say you aren't beautiful? "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well"  - Psalm 139:14 (ESV) He made me capable of so many things, and I will no longer take that for granted.  Love, Madeline

The beginning may be fuzzy, but the end is clear. This is not a story about a prince saving a princess, but it is a story about a princess saving herself. She defeated her dragon. And I am that princess. In the beginning, I was like any other young girl. My heart was filled to the brim with excitement and passion for life from day one. I knew I did not want to live quietly. My world was meant to be filled with beautiful sound and vibrant colors. Creativity spewed from my hands as I danced through childhood. I experienced adventure every day through the books I devoured and the dress-up games I played. As the saying goes, the world was my oyster. There was not a single thing that could tear me down, or so I thought. Six years into life, what I knew to be life changed gradually and as years passed, my doubts crept closer to me. I grew closer to the dragon inside my head, who insisted that there was no place for me. Over the next nine years, days passed and my mind gradually...

We've hit May, it's time for shorts and tank tops and it's pretty much bathing suit season. Why do these things bother me so much? I would rather hide my skin than let others see my scars. What do I say to the people who ask about my scars? Do I tell them I spent the past seven years fighting a demon inside of my own head? Should I be open about the harm I did to my body? Will they understand why I starved myself to feel something? How do I explain the excruciating pain I felt that made me want to not carry on? I'm not sure they will understand why, and that scares me. Having these signs of a struggle of my skin makes me self-conscious. Sometimes I don't want that to be the case. I'm not always proud of the progress I have made in the past couple of years. Somedays I would rather not have the scars and the stretch marks to show my journey. REFRAMING TIME... My story is a part of me, it's a part of my body!! Scars don't make me any less worthy of lov...

Hello again!! With the whirlwind of spring going on, I have been very neglectful to my blog. I have a knack for designing and creating items to fit a need, so I thought I would start sharing some of my projects on this blog. I am spending most of my July out of the United States this year. I will be heading over to the Netherlands! The trip is organized through the Lions Club's  International Youth Camp and Exchange Program , and I am extremely grateful to be participating. As an avid traveler and journaler, documenting an experience is important to me. Throughout my stay, I collect tickets, brochures, and other things to keep for tangible memories. While scrolling through the wonderfully creative Jordan Clark's blog "Stellaire" , I came across her  travel diary how-to . I immediately took to the idea of having a collection of items in order to maintain a creative journal while traveling. After mulling over different supplies to include, I made my list and got ri...