the NEW me!

sixteen going on seventeen. 

sixteen complete years on this earth.

6,168 days of breathing and being me. 

After nearly 10 years of focusing on all of my flaws, I was covered in lies about myself. The pain from my broken self-esteem drove my eating disorder to become worse over time. After practicing serious behaviors for an extended period, my body was giving up on me. Due to my deteriorating health, my parents were informed I had been diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. For two years my family stood by me as I untangled a web infested with frustration, guilt, and confusion, all directed at myself. By digging through that pile and seeking out ways to reverse these words etched into my brain, I saw glimpses of a life beyond the criticism. Close to a year ago, I saw hope for the first time. This hope showed me that my world wasn't currently how God created it to be, and I saw that I was destroying myself. As I began to value my life more and increased my intake, my body and mind began healing. Feeling close to happiness took longer than I had hoped it would, which was disappointing most of the time. As I handed God my worries and insecurities, I knew that I was in a better place. Being sick was not what I wanted and He could be with me through all of my days, good or bad. For the past couple of months, I have been thriving. I feel inspired to change the world. After pushing my eating disorder out the door, my mind doesn't pull me backwards as hard as it used to. I can now see God's glory in all of His creation, it is evident that life isn't meant for focusing on the negatives. I am striving for the overwhelming joy from serving and experiencing the world.